Truth or Dare: Adults only
"I don't want you to embarrass yourself on TV, Jessica. Is it really worth the money? I remember on one episode they dared a guy to call into his job and quit...for 20,000 dollars. And he did it! CHRIST. After taxes, that's not even enough to pay off a year's worth of student loans.."
She thought for a moment that he knocked some sense into her. It was possible she could walk away from that humiliating reality game show with a big check for 60,000 dollars, but what horrible acts would need to be commited? Was money really worth public shame?
A few minutes later, Jessica's student loan bills and credit card statement arrived in the mailbox.
It's worth it.
"I'm doing this for us! I'm not going to be able to buy a house with you with all of these debts hanging over my head. Can't you see that? Don't you want to move out of this crappy apartment by the time we're 28?" Jessica let the words flow easily, but she wasn't listening to herself. Why couldn't he stop pacing the room like that? Why did he make everything into such a big freaking deal
"But Jessica. The internet. The internet! Someone will post your embarrassing TV appearance to Youtube, and you'll be forever immortalized on the god damned internet. Now, is that worth it?" He was beginning to look exasperated.
Each new sentence he uttered made his face more red. Jessica felt a tinge of guilt. She was certain he was afraid she'd embarrass him somehow on the television show.
"Listen, whatever i say or do on that show will be a bunch of bullshit,' she told him later that night while they ate Stouffers lasagna for dinner. "And maybe after I win, I'll buy a cookbook and learn how to make real lasgna." She looked up and saw him crack a smile for the first time in days.
The next day, Jessica called a cab and headed off to the airport. She was heading off to Reali-TV studio in Burbank, California to appear on the hit reality TV show Truth or Dare: Adults Only.
"Doesn't that TV title sound a little dirty? Don't worry, I won't reveal your fetishes' she joked while they read over the rules of the TV show. He looked at her disapprovingly. Why can't he just relax? She was starting to wonder more often. Maybe the pressure of having to deal with her massive debt was getting to him.
'Well, some of us had to actually pay for our crappy, useless degrees. Mom and daddy didn't bail us out..' Jessica muttered a little too loudly. A few passengers on the airplane glanced her way. Glance away, she thought, you people won't be 60,000 dollars richer by tomorrow. I will.
"Jessica? Hi, I'm the producer."
The producer led Jessica to a room. Five other girls, all in their early 20s, were huddled around a little table and drinking. Jessica's eyes traveled to the long table of assorted liqour bottles.
"Wait, we can drink before the show? Jessica watched the producer suppress a smirk. He straighened out his lips and motioned toward the lone bottle of Soda at the end of the table.
"If you're a sober girl, you can always drink some nice, warm Pepsi."
The other girls stiffled giggles, except one obviously tipsy girl. She let out a brusque snort.
"You afraid of a little booze? God, some people are such stiffs." Brusque snort girl took another shot of cheap vodka and let out a burp loud enough to rival her snort.
Jessica could just imagine the look on his face if he knew she was sitting in a little room with a bunch of drunks, all of them getting liqoured up before getting on stage to embarrass themselves in front of America.
Jessica stared at snort girl. It seemed unlikely that snort girl would remember any of the words she was about to say, or that she would remember being in this room at all, but she spoke anyway.
"I'm not a stiff. I'm here to prove to a stiff back home that I'm sick and tired of floating in debt." Jessica walked toward the table of half empty liqour bottles and barely touched mixers.
"Cranberry and vodka is my favorite."
Three blurry hours later, the producer reappeared. Jessica had started to notice the sounds outside of the room getting louder and louder until it was obvious that the studio was filled. The vodka left her unable to grasp the reality of the situation. Here she was, about to sit in front of millions of people, drunk, and tell her secrets for money.
"You first" The producer pointed to the snorty girl. She burped once more and waved sloppily to the other girls.
"How long you think she'll be?" One girl asked another.
"Let's hope not too long. I need fuckin' cash." The girl took a long swig of her soda. Jessica noticed this girl had switched over to just soda over an hour ago. Her cloudy brain was wishing she had done the same.
Loud groans from the audience suddenly interrupted Jessica's thoughts. One girl opened the door. Snorty ran into the room and puked all over the floor.
"No cash. Pack your stuff and go back to your hotel. You. Next.'
Soda drinker's face light up instantly. Jessica couldnt remember the last time she saw an adult's face light up like that. Depression started to swoop over her. Great. One of alcohol's less fun effects.
The remaining girls moved their chairs far away from the vomit-spewn section of the floor. Just when she thought she was about to create her very own vomit-spewn section of the floor, the janitor appeared and speedily mopped up the mess. Jessica felt the urge to chat with a human that wasn't about to lose their dignity on a TV show.
Her brain searched for something normal to say. Why was conversing such a feat when she was drunk?
"Do you like working here?" The words broke the awkward silence that had commenced the second this janitor walked in to clean up a stranger's vomit.'
The mopping stopped.
"Do I like...mopping up your vomit?" The janitor didn't look up. He stopped mopping but kept staring at the dirty floor.
"I didn't mean that.."
"I mop up vomit. Oh, and a few minutes ago I cleaned some toilets. But you know what I don't have to do? I don't have to get on that stage and destroy my dignity. And I don't have to get on that stage and do something to hurt my friends and family for a measly 10,000 dollars. Oh, and guess how many videos of me have gone viral on Youtube? None. I might mop up your regurgiated cosmos, but i don't have to go on that stage. Now excuse me. I've got some urinals to scrub."
"OKAY, YOU, NEXT!" Jessica barely had time to process the janitor's speech. All she wanted was a little 'oh, I hate it here! Good luck with your show' but instead, she gets a guilt trip. what did he know about her life? I'm sure he doesn't know the burden of student loans. That's why he's a janitor. Won't people just-
"YOU! Get out of that chair!" The producer reached for Jessica's hands and she was out of the seat and walking into the studio before her brain could catch up.
The audience's screams rattled against her skull. Her cranberry and vodka filled stomach lurched nervously.
The host led Jessica to the center of the room and pointed her to a comfortable-looking black leather chair. He sat across from her in an equally comfortable-looking green leather chair. Between them was a table with a cell phone on top.
"Thirty seconds!"
"You know the drill. Right?" The host quickly glanced at Jessica, hoping she wouldn't respond.
The audience continued to roar.
"Please don't puke like that last girl. Seriously. You can hold it in.' The host didn't bother glancing this time. He was straightening his tie.
"Okay, we're on air.'
The host stared into one of the cameras and flashed his expensively white teeth. The audience exchanged their roar for clapping.
"Welcome back! We're here with our next player, Jessica! She's ready for America's favorite game show, Truth or Dare!"
He turned to another camera. His face changed from jovial to attempted sexy.
"Adults only.'
The audience roared. Some hooted. Some hollered.
"Okay! Let's get started! Jessica, the rules, as you know, are simple! I will ask you truth or dare. You'll pick. Then I'll pick a random audience member to ask you a question or give you a dare to complete. You win 5,000 dollars for each task your complete. And, you can win 40,000 dollars INSTANTLY if the SUPER LUCKY audience member is picked! But, be prepared. This truth or dare will be EXTRA tough! Ready? Okay!"
Jessica felt a tiny bit ashamed that the audience was actually getting her pumped up for this ridiculous game. Do it for yourself. Do this for your future. Do this to get rid of the debt.
The host smiled at Jessica and stared patiently after he asked 'truth or dare?"
"Well...dare, I guess." Maybe this way she could avoid saying anything embarrassing.
The host pointed his finger toward the eager crowd. He stopped his finger at one guy wearing a T-shirt that read 'Mike's 21st birthday pub crawl.'
"Jessica, I dare you to..."
The audience waited in anticipation. Jessica's stomach couldn't wait for a bathroom.
"kiss me on the lips!"
The audience's signature roar filled the room again as the young man made his way down towards the center of the stage.
Oh crap, Jessica thought. This was bad. But its an instant 10,000 dollars. Her boyfriend couldn't be THAT mad.
After the pub crawl enthusiast was done attempted to stick his tongue down her throat, and the audience stopped roaring, Jessica's stomach assured her that her boyfriend would be anything but okay.
But this wasn't about him right now. This was about her piles of debt. This was about her.
"You've got it, Jessica! 10,000 bucks!" The host leaned over for a high five. The audience laughed whe Jessica missed and nearly knocked over the cell phone sitting on the table. She really hoped she wouldnt need to use that phone..
"Okay, audience! Get ready!"
The familar finger roamed the audience again, searching for someone who would ask the most outrageous truth. Jessica hoped to avoid another tongue in the mouth by dealing with a racy question this time.
This time a woman was chosen. She looked about 35. Her two young kids next to her jumped up and down in excitement.
"Mommy's gonna ask a real tough one!" She told her little girl while they jumped up and down together holding hands. When the audience stopped its famous roar, the woman stopped jumping and faced Jessica. Her face suddenly turned very serious.
"Do you think you'd ever get breast implants? You look a little small there."
The signature roar didn't filled the audience this time, just a big round of gasps.
The host snuck a not-so-secret peek at Jessica's boobs. The Cameraman didn't hide his peek at her boobs. All of America would get to see a close-up.
Jessica had two choices. Answer this question or run up there and punch the woman. One choice will result in 10,000 dollars. the other results in more years of debt.
She waited for the audience to shut up before she responded. The woman was still standing, starting to look annoyed for having to wait so long for an answer.
"Yes."
The audience groaned. The woman rolled her eyes. Jessica felt much richer.
"We'll be right back after the break!" The host's unnaturally white teeth made a quick appearance and sudden disappearance as he turned his attention to Jessica.
"You better stop with the boring answers or I'm going to kick you off. We'll just say you suddenly felt ill. Don't fuck with us, Jessica. You're during a dare next time, and it better be good."
A few seconds later, the show returned from break. Jessica readied herself for any humilation that would inevitably be thrown her way. This was for her. This was for her future.
"Oh my, I've picked the super lucky audience member! Jessica, that's instantly 40,000 dollars if you do the dare!"
The super lucky audience member was a 12 year old girl. Well, this shouldn't be too bad, Jessica thought. What kind of warped dare would a 12 year old make me do? Text message some super hottie?
The 12 year old pointed to the cell phone on the table.
"Do you want me to text message a hot guy?" Jessica couldn't believe she actually said her thought aloud. She realized that the vodka was still happily floating around in her body. The audience laughed and the 12 year old groaned.
"I DARE you to text HELP to my friend's number, 555-4545. He'll be so mad!" The girl giggled.
"Are you kidding? Whatever.." Jessica sent the text and set down the phone. That was an easy 10k.
A few seconds later, the phone began to ring.
"Haha, better pick it up!"
"Hello?"
"This is the police, we received a text from you-"
Jessica panicked and threw the phone down. The audience's roar returned. The host's pearly white teeth made another appearance. The 12 year old gave Jessica the finger. And Jessica's fingers lunged for the preteen's neck.
"I'm here to see Jessica"
"Right down the hall, sir."
The boyfriend carried a box of chocolates and a get well soon teddy bear to the hospital room that contained the girl with debt.
"So, how's your arm? Hey, don't feel bad...that girl was pretty big. She probably could've broke my arm!"
"And a 12 year old could also break your nose? And pull down your pants in front of America?"
The boyfriend sat at the edge of the bed. He suddenly burst out in laughter.
"What?!" Jessica said, annoyed.
"Jessica, this hospital visit, and the 12 year old's mother's lawsuit against you..do you know what all of these means?"
"What?"
He got up from the bed and put his hand on her shoulder.
"MORE DEBT!"
But Jessica didn't cry. Jessica didn't roll her eyes. She laughed. She laughed hysterically.
"Hey, guess this means I won't learn how to make real lasagna, huh?"
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